Indescribable

My feelings now are indescribable

I have so many feelings now that you have no idea. I haven't felt like this in a long time. The best words are I HATE YOU. I should be doing hw now! D=
If you don't know what I have been through or know me at all you can not say BLAH BLAH BLAH about me. OK Gretchen so fuck off and leave me alone.
I notice that I am like my dad and its that we don't take people for granted. I would do many things on my own without anyones help. Even if you provide me with help I wouldn't want it. In the past I use to trust people so easily that they take advantage of me and that is something negative about me, Because of that I learned from it and now its super hard for me to trust people now. It is also super hard for me to talk to people about my past. Every time I think about it I just want to cry, and I am emotional.
It takes a big step for me to tell people, if I feel that I am comfortable with it and you then I would tell you. =/

R.I.Paradise Gean Wong 6.14.06 <3
Even though I know you want me to move on. I still think about you all the time. You should be =) since I haven't been dating. I always thought you were the best for me =/. But things will change if you want it to =). Oysigh. You always there when I needed you. In times where I am frustrated or mad I would think of you... Which makes me think more and I hated myself for loosing you. I always wished my birthday was another day, so you wouldn't have rushed back and got into the accident and now I lost you forever. This is the worst present you would have ever given me on my birthday.

In ways of fear, It is my biggest fear to be close with someone and loosing them in the end even as just friends. I hate to loose someone.... It makes me so sad...